Thursday, July 15, 2010

How to Deal

Hey, Enya, Sabrina, Vanessa, Marina, Carolyn, Alycia, Lisa, Joey, Marisol, and Kaelin? You guys are amazing. All of your comments were wonderful and supportive and I read through them each at least three times and I love you guys forever and I think we should all move to a polygamist compound and get married.

It felt really good to write all of that down yesterday. I was really nervous about posting it because I didn't know what people's reactions would be or if I would just make myself look stupid or what. But I'm glad I did what I did.

My eating issues are something I still struggle with, and they will probably always be there, at least to some degree. But, I like to think that I have gotten better and will continue to get better.

And as for my hair- I live in a day and age where extensions and wigs are readily available. I'm not saying it will ever get to that point, but if it did, I am not above buying fake hair... I actually used to have a good friend whose body rejected her own hair, and she had a couple of wigs that she wore and so they always looked cute and perfect. But. I'm taking pre-natals and I have plenty of long hair left so it shouldn't get to that point, eh?

Today I did nothing. That's a lie. I picked my final high school report card from my school (way to put it off until July, I know) and put a dent in the room-cleaning process. And I made plans for tomorrow.

And I talked to my mother on the phone, which stressed me out significantly. That's some drama I definitely need a break from. I'm not even going to talk on it about here, lest I have an anxiety attack.

Also last night I stayed up extremely late, attempting to watch New Moon. And I quite frankly, couldn't stomach it. I know people love the Twilight Saga but... I've only watched the first movie, and I read the books Twilight and Eclipse. I started reading Breaking Dawn, but about halfway through I decided the plot was laughable and never picked it up again. I gave up on New Moon (the movie) about twenty minutes in, and watched How To Deal instead.

I also started working on this story that's been sitting in my head for a while. It's a love story/coming of age tale, and the protagonist is based on Amy (who else?). Amy is such a fascinating character unto herself so I just decided to copy/paste parts of her personality and appearance onto my main character. What can I say? She's my muse.

Telling you guys it's a love story and that I'm basing my main character on one of my best friends makes me feel like I sound ridiculous, but I really hope that when I start writing, it will turn into more than just that. I have never liked the whole superficial teen romance/cheap chick lit genre very much and the thought of being a part of that kind of makes me cringe.

I have been writing as a hobby since I was young, and while I don't think I'm the next Sarah Dessen or that I'll ever get published anything, I enjoy it. It's not my passion, but it's a nice creative outlet.

I just got a follow-up phone call from my mom. And I feel really sick now. My nerves are just all out of whack.

I won't give you guys tons of backstory like I usually do, but currently my mother is on her way to a shelter for battered women and their children, with three of my younger siblings in tow.

So. Yeah. Life I suppose?

Weight: 111.6
Twitter followers: 952
Why today is awesome: There's cookie dough in my fridge, hollluhh


  1. It's good that you have such a good little community that supports you on here. I personally didn't say much last night, since I can't really relate, and anything more than what I said would of been rambling on the simpleness of what I said. You've learned from your past, and hopefully with having your story posted here, it will help someone else see "the light at the end of the tunnel."
    Losing hair is scary. My cousin's fiancée has been losing her hair. I don't think she has the self confidence that you have now though. She's scared to shampoo and brush her hair in fear another chunk will fall out.
    Now that you've been eating meat will help to. Lots of vegetarians who don't get enough protein lose hair too. I personally eat a lot of eggs, so I've been good so far. (After seeing your new years resolution video, I made my own video deciding to be vegetarian too, I am still veg though since my mom is very supportive and is a former veg.)
    New Moon is horrible. I've seen twilight 3 times, and saw Eclipse the weekend it came out, and liked both of those, but New Moon, I agree, I couldn't watch it all.
    Good luck on your writing adventure! I understand what you're saying, it is easier to base a character off someone you really know, and if you get stuck you can always ask yourself "What would Amy do?"
    Good luck with your mom. I hope your younger siblings are all okay!

  2. "polygamist compound and get married"? sure. xD bahaha.
    i really hope that you don't lose much more of your hair. i really do love how you style it. it would be such a shame for it to fall out. :/ but if something like that were to happen, you're right, wigs and extensions are being used all the time now, so that could very much help. and i'm sure you'd have a lot of support if anything bad were to happen, if it were the hair or anything else.
    and for the twilight stuff, i've never seen new moon, but i'm sure it's not all that great of a movie. i pretty much just watched twilight for laughs. i mean, i did read all the books, but that was when i was younger and not really focused on how awful it must have been. maybe someday i'll reread them to see the bad plot line and such. i don't know about new moon, but in twilight the movie edward said the corniest things. i found it to be bad scripting.
    and as for your story, i hope it goes well. i rather enjoy your style of writing on your blogs, so i can imagine how i would probably as well enjoy your writing in more of an actual created story style. if i were amy, i'd be honored to be your muse and all. i'd love to read your story if it ever gets posted somewhere.
    i also really hope that everything goes well with your mom and siblings and that you don't end up really having any sort of anxiety attack over any of it. if it helps, just try to look on the brighter side of things. <3

  3. I really hope that you get better with those pre-natal's. And about twilight I have never seen new moon. I dont understand what so amazing about those movies. I dont know if you know but they are making a movie that comes out in august that makes fun of the twilight movies. Its called "Vampires suck" which you might be interested in. And whatever is happening with your mom just try to not let it affect you so much. I hope every thing gets better.

  4. I will most definitely move to a polygamist compound with you and all the commenters, if such a thing were to exist (:
    and is it bad that I used to be obsessed with the twilight books? I guess I was just an impressionable little tweenie bopper. but in the past couple years I've come to my senses of how awful the series is.
    good luck with the pre-natals, it must suck having your hair coming out in clumps. it's gorgeous (:
    I'd love to read your story! your friend amy seems interesting at the least and it sounds like something i'd like. hopefully you'll post some of it? a girl could only hope
    & last but not least, COOKIE DOUGH!???! jealous.
    lots of love,

  5. Packing my bags for Polygamist, as I write this comment.
    I'm glad you were able to write it down, and share it <3
    And plus, I love how your able to look at the bright side of things (about your hair) my aunt just had cancer and lost all her hair, and she got some lovely wigs. And my friends use hair extensions all the time :)
    haha, not going to lie, I actually kind of like the whole sage, but not overly obsessed.
    Good luck with your writing, I likes the idea of basing your character on a friend. And I like the story of it too! it is something, I would defiantly go out and buy.
    I hope your siblings are okay, and I hope your okay <3

  6. Writing has always helped me through life, especially poetry. I this blog is healthy for you to release all your emotions in a less self-destructive way. As for your hair, mine is seriously the thickest hair in the world and I always wish it was thinner but I would freak if I started to lose hair. Hopefully you recover and don't have to do anything as drastic as a wig. I really hope everything is okay with you mom and siblings and I'll be sending makka (good feelings) towards them and you. Mmk I have to go pack my bags for Polygamist. Bye :)