Saturday, July 3, 2010

Carry on, my wayward son.

First of all, big thank you's for Alycia, Misty, Anais, James, Sabrina, Marina, Marta, Blair, Carolyn, and Hannah. You guys are seriously amazing. And all of your comments from yesterday's posts were incredibly supportive. I don't know why you guys seem to care so much, but I'm really glad you do. Many of you made the point that I shouldn't have to defend or apologize for how I feel. And I agree with you. I think I was more apologizing for people's reactions more than anything. But yes. This blog is going to be where I say whatever I want, no censoring, no filters.

Today was fun, we watched more Supernatural (four episodes left of season four!). Honestly guys, if you have not watched this series, you should. But start from the beginning. Because if you don't get all of it in piece by piece, it'll just be too much.

We also went to pick up my uncle from the airport, because he's been in New York for the past week. He's a really nice guy, and we all went to Five Guys for dinner. I'd never had Five Guys before, and dear god... it was amazingly delicious and heavenly, but it's an experience I don't think I can afford to relive. It was like swallowing five pounds of cholesterol and fat covered in grease... But it was worth it. And we made chocolate chip cookies, from scratch. I ate like, ten.

Yeah, as soon as I get home (which will be tomorrow, after we finish Supernatural) I'm checking myself into boot camp, Bree Bear style. Working out every minute I can spare, and eating nothing but fruit and veggies and fiber bars. At least just until I get my weight back to normal. Yeah. That's the plan.

I think, that's the worst after-effect from losing twenty pounds the way I did. My metabolism is now completely screwed over. I have to seriously watch myself now. I sometimes have off-days, but off-weeks? I never do this, and I'm terrified. I don't know what I'm going to do about Independence Day, because every year my family goes to Downtown Disney, and we eat at the Earl of Sandwich and have dessert at Ghiradelli's. Yeah. This is definitely the worst after-effect. Missing out on things like that. That's way worse than losing my hair or the fact that I'm always constipated.

Yeah. By the way guys, I'm losing my hair. And it seriously freaks me out. It's been happening for a while now. And I promise you, it's not a normal amount of hair loss. I stopped dying my hair, trying to eat more protein, and I'm going to order some pre-natal vitamins, all to try and slow it down. I used to have the thickest, craziest, poofiest hair you'd ever seen. Now it's all flat and thin unless I put product in.

But yeah. The moral of the story here is, if you want to lose weight, do it the right way. It'll take forever and you'll probably get really discouraged, but it'll be worth it. Don't go the eat-less-than-800-calories-a-day route. It works, and works fast, but for a price much higher than that slice of cheesecake.

Oh and please, don't get the wrong idea about this post, guys. My "diet" was not an eating disorder, at all. Not even the same realm. It was just an act of desperation, and I was able to stop it as soon as I didn't want it anymore. Girls with eating disorders don't get out that easily.

Anyway. Enough of my rambling. I'm going back home tomorrow, and as much as I love being here in Tampa, I'm really ready to get back to my life. And to get rid of this weight.

Goodnight dears.

Weight: Worst nightmare
Pre-life crisis related tantrums had this summer: 2
Twitter followers: 922


  1. Anytime girl, anytime!
    Supernatural. I will find the time next week to at least start it. I'll tell you what I think once I start.
    Good luck with your hair. Does hair loss run in the family?
    I can't lose weight the 800 calorie a day route. I gain weight with that. My body sucks, but I guess it keeps me from getting an eating disorder.
    Good luck going back home! Oh and I can't wait to hear about your fourth of July celebration!

  2. So, blogger hates me. It lost my comment again. I have to learn to copy my comments before posting them.
    Anytime. That's what we're here for! (:
    I will need to check out supernatural next week. I'll tell you how that goes.
    Is the hair loss hereditary, or just from your dieting and being a vegetarian and lacking protein for a year?
    The 800 a day calorie thing makes me lose weight. It's weird, but keeps me from going anorexic.
    I can't wait to hear about your fourth of the July celebration. I hope that you allow yourself to eat some good food, just not over do it.
    Hope going home is smooth, and you visit friends soon. Maybe find a guy? ;)

  3. I've never watched super natural before, I think I might start. Sounds really good!!
    Oh god. You've fabulous hair. My aunt told me that once a year hair sheds (she's a hairdresser) and I was having the same problem. So don't panic!
    Awh home sweet home again.
    Happy fourth of july tomorrow. I really wish I would be in America for it. <3

  4. After I lost weight, my hair started falling out like crazy too. But I couldn't just start eating protein because I'm vegetarian. So it wasn't that easy for me. I started eating a lot of peanut butter and it helped a bit, but sometimes it still falls out in handfulls. :/

  5. almost every time i read one of your blogs, i just get these cravings for yummy foods. xD
    but anyway, that's awful to hear about those after effect things. if you haven't already, you should probably consult someone, like a doctor, about the hair loss. maybe that person or someone else like that could help you find a solution to those problems. i would hate to see anymore of your hair leave. you have gorgeous hair. but thanks for explaining the whole weight loss moral and all. i always try to start losing weight and such, but then i give up. but at least now if i try again, i'll be sure to take your advice and find an appropriate way to go at it.
    & you mentioned how you're going to downtown disney! my best friend is in disney for a week right now. you both have no idea about each other, but that'd just be funny to me if you two bumped into each other and didn't even know it. xD but also, when you are in downtown disney, i hope you don't miss out on that with your family. just set very strict limits for yourself, that may work. :]

  6. Anytime :)
    I really want to start watching Supernatural now! I have always been mega jealous over your hair. "/ Maybe it's just hereditary? Good luck though. I hope you have a great 4th of July and I wish I lived close to Disney to do that. Enjoy but don't indulge. Eat little bits of everything you love. Just don't punish yourself, you're gorgous and perfectly skinny as is.

  7. i'm sorry i'm only leaving a short comment today, but i'm quite sleepy, haha. it sounds like you've had an incredible time with your aunt, and you've developed a new love for supernatural (which i'm going to watch at some point). keep up the blogs, and i'm psyched for the next one. <3

  8. Ah, I want to go to Downtown Disney. :(
    Hopefully the hair loss thing will stop soon. I have a friend who had to go on a diet and he started losing hair too.
    And as for your diet- you are gorgeous! And I admire you for actually being able to stick to a diet. I can't do that. I eat when I'm bored. It sucks.
    Anyways, have a good 4th of July!<3

  9. Ahh, it's almost mandatory I start watching Supernatural now. :P I haven't been to Downtown Disney in foreverrrr! And I live like.. super close, lmao. Anyways, hope that whole hair sitch is resolved soon! BeeTeeDubs, I'm quite jealous you've got such a nice relationship with your aunt! Mine are great and all, but we live so far away from each other so it's tough to bond I suppose. Cherish it! Hope you have a nice 4th! :)

  10. all i can say is thank you for telling in a bit more detail the effects of your weight loss. tbh, i'm about twenty pounds overweight and have been trying to get ride of it for a while. when i found your myplate and saw what you ate, i tried my hardest to eat less and less calories to the point where my calories were way below doctor recommended because i figured if you could do it, i could do it.. thanks for showing me what happens when you're not patient about weight loss. good luck with trying to hold off your temptation for sweets the rest of the summer! i just realized how mega-long this comment was, so i'll end here, haha.
    much love,

  11. oh! and i also felt the need to tell you that you are not fat at all. i remember you saying somewhere that you had gotten hate comments about being the "fat" ftfk member which is definitely not true. don't think that you can't afford to have a small gelati, because it's summer and you shouldn't miss out on that! you're beautiful and alot of girls are jealous. okay, this comment is probably mega-long as well, so im done. haha, happy 4th of july!