This past week in summary:

• Last Friday was Chelsea's memorial service. It was extremely difficult for me, and everyone else involved. It was amazing to see how many lives she touched... The funeral home was so packed, even the aisles and the back of the room was filled to capacity with standing people. It was an open mic sort of thing, and several people went up and said a few things about Chelsea, told their stories. I cried more than I've cried in a long, long time. But I was surrounded with friends- Amy, Chris, Ian, KTG$, and so many others. And while it was so painful, I realized why it happened. This entire expanded community of people and friends, my peer group, has, up until this point, been completely disconnected from one another. There's been drama, there's been cruelty and backstabbing, there's been self centered-ness and we've all taken each other for granted. We were brought back together by this tragedy, and were forced to lean on each other. Chelsea was teaching us a lesson. Ever since this happened, everyone's just been so much better to each other. Let's hope it stays that way.
• Beyond that, the loss of Chelsea has been difficult. Most days I cry about it. Sometimes I'll hear a song, or someone will mention her, or I just won't have a "good morning" text from her in my phone, and it'll set me off. A couple days I've done okay though.
  
• Last Saturday Amy and I had a childhood movie marathon to distract ourselves. We watched The Thief and the Cobbler, Balto, Mary Kate & Ashley's Sleepover Party, and like seven others. It was great. Then we walked around Downtown Disney for a while. It was nice. I love her.
• I had a date with Michael Cera on Tuesday. It went really well and we get along perfectly fine and there's absolutely nothing wrong with him... But honestly? I don't feel anything. Or I don't know. I just woke up on Wednesday morning and had a mini panic attack about it. I started freaking out over the fact that I might have to commit. And when Josh and I first got together, we had this weird, instant, soul-connection. And even though I was really shy and guarded when Josh and I met, it still felt like we'd known each other our whole lives. With Michael Cera, it's not like that at all. Josh set the bar, I guess? I don't know. I'm having all these second thoughts and I realize I'm gonna have to let the poor guy down eventually. And I hate that I have to do that. I don't want to hurt him, or be the cold hearted bitch I know he's going to perceive me as. Gotta do what I gotta do though.
• Wednesday I spent most of the day with Josh (surprise, I know). We made my FTFK video and played Super Smash Brothers at his house for the first time since we were dating. It was... weirdly comforting and familiar. Like it was like nothing had changed, we were just picking up where we'd left off. Without all the couple-y stuff, obviously. But the way we get along is exactly as it's always been. It's weird. I'm telling you, our souls are like, connected or some crazy crap like that. Don't go interpreting this wrong! I promise you we're not getting back together or anything like that. We came to the conclusion that, no matter what, we're always going to be a part of each other's lives. Always. And there's so much more to this. So much happened as was said on Wednesday night but I can't put it here.
• That night we went and watched Zombieland with Chase and Girl!Taylor at Girl!Taylor's house. It was fun.
• TONIGHT I SAW HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART ONE AT MIDNIGHT AND OH MY GOD I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I SAW AND OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT WAS PERFECT. I WILL WRITE A LONGER REVIEW. PROMISE. BUT RIGHT NOW I AM STILL OH MY GOD.
• Amy got her heart broken. Again. I feel awful.
• Vanilla Ice and I are hanging out next Friday..........................
• I'm listening to the Donnie Darko soundtrack and somehow it makes everything better.
• I left so much out of this but honestly there's no way to tell you all right now.....